The Competitive Gene

Last Friday my son, Gavin, had a swim meet. He is 12, and every time he competes in anything he gets really worked up and anxious. We only do the low key home meets, as we really encourage him to do this more for exercise and fun than competition. Well, try telling that to someone who is competitive and they can't even comprehend the idea. The last home meet he did not "win" any of his events, and he paced around unhappy and irritable all night between events and really kind of drove me crazy. I mean, really, where does he get this from?  I always model calm, cool behavior at all my races. Ha!

I was kind of dreading the meet because I was expecting a repeat from last time, and I debated if I should not let him compete again or let him go and work through this. It is hard for me as a mom to watch him struggle and get upset when he doesn't do as well as he wants to. I just want to protect him from the world. In the end, I left it up to him and he wanted to go. I encouraged him to sign up for a 200 meter freestyle to see how he did on the longer endurance races and it was his first event of the night. He had high hopes and as the race went on he struggled more and more and I could see he was getting tired. He got out of the pool at second to last, a good lap behind the first place person. I could see the tears forming, the slumped shoulders, the nervous hands and I quickly went over and talked to him. He said it was hard, and he was tired but he thought that he could do better at the 50 meter events. I congratulated him for finishing this one up. A little while later he said with the eye of the tiger look in his eye..."If I just win one, then this whole night will have been worth it." I asked him, "what happens if you don't win?" He lets out a big melodramatic sigh, "well that will just be too bad then."

Great.

Now I am getting ramped up and worried about the pressure he is putting himself under. Outwardly I fake a positive attitude, tell him to visualize himself winning and to just try his best. His next event comes up, the 50 freestyle. I watch apprehensively as he starts and he comes in third. Better than last race, but not the win he was hoping for. He looks a bit more upbeat, and says "I think the 50 backstroke is going to be it."

Hmmm. I mean, I know he can do it, but he hasn't ever yet. I don't know if he is going to break through this or come home sad again at this point. I gave him a cookie, told him to think positive and crossed my fingers.

They lined up and jumped off the blocks. Down the first lap he was about third, and then coming back he kicked it in and passed one person and then came even with the next. As they approached the finish he crept out in front and I was jumping and screaming "GOOOOO GAVIIIN!!!" and he won. He came out of the pool with a smug grin and quickly went over to the table of little prizes they get when they win. He picked out a little gummy hand that slaps and sticks to things which he lost before he even got home. But the smile stayed all night.

So, I guess the night was worth it. It was awesome to see him achieve what he set out to do. And I am glad that he finally got to feel that sweet feeling of victory after lots of hard work. Good job Gavin.

Fat Tuesday Fat Bike Race

I am laying here, after this event, my entire body sore and I am wondering how to describe this race. People ask, "did you have fun?" Hmm. Did I? Not sure yet. Do I want to run out and do a race like this again? Hmmm, not sure yet. Did I survive a long two hour mental battle of wanting to call it quits, lots of slippery falls, a lot of frustration and still stay determined to not give up? Yes I did!

I am stuck in the doldrums of winter and starting to hate riding my bike on a trainer to the point where I would rather clean a house, shovel snow, pick up dog shit, or just about anything to avoid going down into the basement and get on that bike. What is one way to beat the winter blues? Buy new bike stuff...which led me to Einstein Cycles, and whilst picking out my new TT bike (schwing!) Jason W encouraged me to race Tuesday. The idea grew on me, and the thought of doing something different on a bike seemed like a good way to get some new time on a bike. It was being held just a few blocks away from my house, and seemed like it would be a good way to test out a fat bike race.

I showed up tonight, ready to ride after thinking extensively about what I would wear this time on this ride. Still trying to get the perfect cold weather outfit together. The course was laid out kind of cyclocross style across the civic center grounds, and after all the rain we got yesterday, the snow was deep and crunchy in areas, slushy in others, and icy in still others. There were a few mounds of piled snow that we rode through. The first one was my favorite because you went up a small hill and rode through about 10 bumpy feet on top of the snow drift before you went back down. On most of the route, there was only a single bike rut to ride through, and if you wandered off it at all, you had to pretty much get off your bike.

At the start of the race there was a bottle neck as some people navigated the rut of track, and others got off and ran. Which I did, but then ended up waiting anyway as the long line of people went on by when I was ready to get back on my bike. No worries, I figured I had two hours of riding. It was really intense as there is no coasting or any rest during this kind of riding, I soon figured out. You have to pedal every single stroke to move forward. I was amazed at how hard this was. It took all my concentration just to stay on the bike and move forward, and I felt that I did pretty well for my lack of experience in the beginning.

As time went on though, I got more and more mentally tired and started sliding out as it got more slippery as the night went on. At one point I hit some ice from a huge frozen puddle/lake and I pretty much had to crawl to get out of it. I noticed that if any errors were made on this terrain there was very little room to recover from it, and that I usually fall. The more I slowed down, the more often the faster guys came through, and being that there is only one lane of rideable track, it was expected that you move the hell out of the way. I frequently waited by the side of the trail, letting whole groups pass so that I could get back on my bike and ride along without slowing anyone else down. I understand that it is a race, but it did increase my frustration as it makes a hard ride even harder when I am struggling to keep going and then I have to lose my momentum, pull of the trail, and then get going again when I let someone pass. Kudos to Jorden Wakeley who always did this with class and courtesy, and was good at letting me know what side he was passing on and picked a decent place to pass. He even ventured off the beaten path to go around on occasion, he's just that good.

It really felt like the longest two hours ever. So what do you do when time slows down, you start f-bombing the entire world in your head, and know that to give up means failure and you just can't do that? I started hearing the voice of my bad ass yoga teacher Liz Graves-yeah...yoga. She kicks our ass in that class and I encourage anyone to try her 90 min Inspire class at Yen Yoga. She brings us to the edge of pain, and challenges us to go farther. She has said on occasion that if you are throwing f-bombs in your mind then you are ruining your own experience and that pain is only what you make it, or something like that. That we determine our attitude. So I made an attitude adjustment and reminded myself that I am in this for fun. I noticed people's smiles, the people cheering us on, the people handing us beads for mardi gras, the silliness of the whole experience. Keith Conway kept going even with flat tires and despite being close to bonking after riding flat tires for three laps. I saw some very strong women out there giving it their best, and they inspired me to keep going. I saw a dad with a very colorful feather boa and his daughter who was so excited to be there and has a love for cycling already. I saw lots of people encouraging each other as we rode along.

So, in all it was a good night. It is always good to push yourself to do something new, even though  it can be pretty damn hard at times. Kudos to everyone who got out there, and hey-I got 2nd place in my first Fat Bike race. Not bad for a Tuesday night.

Chelsea Strate is the Fat Bike QUEEN,
in case you didn't know