The Competitive Gene

Last Friday my son, Gavin, had a swim meet. He is 12, and every time he competes in anything he gets really worked up and anxious. We only do the low key home meets, as we really encourage him to do this more for exercise and fun than competition. Well, try telling that to someone who is competitive and they can't even comprehend the idea. The last home meet he did not "win" any of his events, and he paced around unhappy and irritable all night between events and really kind of drove me crazy. I mean, really, where does he get this from?  I always model calm, cool behavior at all my races. Ha!

I was kind of dreading the meet because I was expecting a repeat from last time, and I debated if I should not let him compete again or let him go and work through this. It is hard for me as a mom to watch him struggle and get upset when he doesn't do as well as he wants to. I just want to protect him from the world. In the end, I left it up to him and he wanted to go. I encouraged him to sign up for a 200 meter freestyle to see how he did on the longer endurance races and it was his first event of the night. He had high hopes and as the race went on he struggled more and more and I could see he was getting tired. He got out of the pool at second to last, a good lap behind the first place person. I could see the tears forming, the slumped shoulders, the nervous hands and I quickly went over and talked to him. He said it was hard, and he was tired but he thought that he could do better at the 50 meter events. I congratulated him for finishing this one up. A little while later he said with the eye of the tiger look in his eye..."If I just win one, then this whole night will have been worth it." I asked him, "what happens if you don't win?" He lets out a big melodramatic sigh, "well that will just be too bad then."

Great.

Now I am getting ramped up and worried about the pressure he is putting himself under. Outwardly I fake a positive attitude, tell him to visualize himself winning and to just try his best. His next event comes up, the 50 freestyle. I watch apprehensively as he starts and he comes in third. Better than last race, but not the win he was hoping for. He looks a bit more upbeat, and says "I think the 50 backstroke is going to be it."

Hmmm. I mean, I know he can do it, but he hasn't ever yet. I don't know if he is going to break through this or come home sad again at this point. I gave him a cookie, told him to think positive and crossed my fingers.

They lined up and jumped off the blocks. Down the first lap he was about third, and then coming back he kicked it in and passed one person and then came even with the next. As they approached the finish he crept out in front and I was jumping and screaming "GOOOOO GAVIIIN!!!" and he won. He came out of the pool with a smug grin and quickly went over to the table of little prizes they get when they win. He picked out a little gummy hand that slaps and sticks to things which he lost before he even got home. But the smile stayed all night.

So, I guess the night was worth it. It was awesome to see him achieve what he set out to do. And I am glad that he finally got to feel that sweet feeling of victory after lots of hard work. Good job Gavin.