Its a Love/Hate Thing and WMSR

Race season is here. The season I have been pedaling for all winter and spring. I was looking so forward to it! So why then was I a bundle of nerves with a side of nausea throughout the week before the West Michigan Stage Race? And any race for that matter? As much as I tell myself to “relax, we are just doing this for fun anyway, right?” I can't help but get the jitters before every race. It gets so bad at times that I wonder why I even put myself through this. I need to learn how to “wooshaaa” away the anxiety, as a fellow co-worker puts it. Friday night before the race a few things were weighing on my mind, so I did not sleep well. I was awake at 3:30, out of bed at 5:00 to get ready for the first race of the weekend, the time trial. My jitters were not improved by the fact that I pulled another classic Melissa blunder by forgetting my shoes at home. In Traverse City. Over 2 hours away. The cycling community in Grand Rapids is great, as some hard work went into finding shoes and pedals for me until I could go to the store once they opened and buy a new pair. After all of the effort that was put into finding me shoes I felt obligated to do the best I could. It seems the shoes were good luck, as I placed 6^th in the time trial that morning, out of about 30 women in a cat 3 and 4 combined field. Sweet!

I'm on the inside, taking a "shitty line" as Amy Jenema succinctly put it.  

The crit was scheduled for 1:30 that afternoon, and after buying some new shoes, Bridget and I went out to warm up and scout the course. We had 7 people represented from our team in this race. We tried to figure out how to best use our numbers to our advantage, and set up some strategies. As the race started the pace was fast, and it was so hot and dry out. My mouth dried up almost immediately, and the pace of the race was so intense I couldn't reach for my water bottle. I had never raced a crit before with this many women and I was overwhelmed. I was bouncing off the back of the pack, wondering how the heck I was going to be able to get up front. The course had lots of tight corners and hairpin turns, testing all of our biking skills. It was a fun course. I can say that now...now that its all over. During the race I was gripping my handlebars with all I had, praying to stay rubber side down, and in the pack. At one point I almost asked a teammate how much longer did we have to go, because I hadn't set my computer. I rather not know sometimes, and I think in this case it was better that I didn't. I heard the shout for the last lap and was so happy to know that it would be over soon. The pace picked up even more, and as we rounded one of the corners, a racer ahead me skidded her back tire out and crashed. The rider behind her crashed but I was able to get by. A few more corners to go and at the last corner I gave it all I had. Another 6^th place finish. (Bridget got 3^rd!) I almost caught the racer in front of me, but not quite. I was happy with it, the women in this field were some awesome competition. I sat back and watched the rest of the days races, happy to be done with mine, and with the results so far.

Saturday night we had a great meal with our team, and we rehashed our stories of the day. I was starving after the days events and we had some great food to eat. This is a "love" of racing. Spending time with some great people, talking about something we all love to do, and eating! We headed to bed early, and got ready for the road race the next day.

The road race was ok. I still felt nervous riding with so many people so close together. We tried attacks, they tried attacks. Nothing stuck. The leader of the overall standings, Kaitlyn Patterson, had a bad crash that further rattled my nerves. I don't think I have witnessed a crash that looked as bad as hers. I heard she is ok though, thankfully. In the end, I realized that I made a big mistake by not scouting out the end of the race. I could have taken the clues of the pace that the people were hitting around me, but in my brain it didn't sink in that this was IT. When I looked up and saw that it was, there was too much of a gap to be able to make it up in time. I came in about 18^th. Live and learn! I have to say that I do learn something at every race. My TT time kept me high up in the rankings though, and I ended up 5^th overall for the weekend. The pre-race anxiety is now forgotten, the pain of the work and the race a subtle memory. Now bring on the next race!